Embodiment Code Of Conduct

It is everyone’s responsibility to understand, ask for, and choose whether to give or withhold consent. Together, we seek to create a supportive and consensual space where people are accepted and able to explore themselves and their sexuality.

We expect everyone at Embodiment spaces or events to follow these guidelines while you are with us. (We hope you will follow them outside our doors as well.)

Some Embodiment spaces may have additional rules in place, which will be made clearly available to participants. Participants are responsible for knowing and abiding by these rules:

  • No touching people or personal property without permission.
  • Treat everyone as an equal by default. Everyone has a responsibility to obtain, provide, withhold or withdraw consent regardless of sex, gender, race, ethnicity, ability, age, orientation, relationship status, sexual power dynamics, or any other identity.
  • Each participant is responsible for making sure, to the best of their ability, that everyone involved has the physical, mental, and emotional capacity to give informed and voluntary consent during negotiation and the activity itself.
  • Anyone can withdraw consent at any time during any activity. A ‘no’ in any form, verbal or non-verbal, should be taken as a withdrawal of consent. It is always a good idea to clarify non-verbal consent and safe signals beforehand when possible.
  • All participants are responsible for immediately stopping any activity upon the withdrawal of consent.
  • Should any form of kink play be undertaken:
    • Clear and explicit consent is needed for the negotiated acts.
    • Participants need to agree on meanings for safe words or safe signs when used.
    • All participants should be informed of possible risks to the best of their knowledge and ability.
    • Limits and boundaries should be clearly established by all parties.
  • If your consent is violated, or you experience a consent incident, tell a volunteer, event organiser, or clearly marked delegate. There is a procedure in place to help. You may inform us in person, by phone, or through email. Please contact us as soon as you are able. It is your right to report what happened to you and to ask for support.
  • Violation of the consent policy may result in expulsion from an event and/or temporary or permanent ban from Embodiment events, spaces or activities.ll volunteers, staff, and delegates follow our incident procedure. No one is exempt.
  • Every reasonable effort will be made to enforce this policy, but we cannot make guarantees about our ability to do so. Each situation is distinct and will be reviewed on a case-by-case basis. All participants and attendees retain full, sole responsibility for their safety and the safety of others with whom they interact.

Reporting Incidents

Definition of Harm

Broadly, we ask that our community make us aware if they are subject to two types of harm – harassment and consent violation. Please note that both tops and bottoms are capable of harm.

We consider harassment to be:

  • Offensive comments related to gender, gender identity and expression, sexual orientation, disability, mental illness, neuro(a)typicality, physical appearance, body size, age, race, or religion.
  • Unwelcome comments regarding a person’s lifestyle choices and practices, including those related to food, health, parenting, drugs, and employment.
  • Deliberate misgendering or use of ‘dead’ or rejected names.
  • Gratuitous or off-topic sexual images or behaviour in spaces where they’re not appropriate.
  • Physical contact e.g. hugging or groping without consent or after a request to stop.
  • Threats of violence.
  • Incitement of violence towards any individual, including encouraging a person to commit suicide or to engage in self-harm.
  • Deliberate intimidation.
  • Stalking or following or any other unwelcome contact whether via social media or in person.
  • Harassing photography or recording, including logging online activity for harassment purposes.
  • Sustained disruption of discussion.
  • Unwelcome sexual attention.
  • Pattern of inappropriate social contact, such as requesting/assuming inappropriate levels of intimacy with others.
  • Continued one-on-one communication after requests to cease.
  • Deliberate “outing” of any aspect of a person’s identity without their consent except as necessary to protect vulnerable people from intentional abuse.
  • Publication of non-harassing private communication.

Boundaries that apply in the rope space

  • Negotiate everything you can think of upfront. Because they said yes to rope, doesn’t mean they said yes to any of the following:
    • Sex
    • Kissing
    • Hugging
    • Groping
    • Biting
    • Being handled roughly
    • Being handled gently
    • Being caressed
    • Photographs, video or audio recordings
    • Posting of content online
    • Cuddles
    • Tickling
    • Etc.
  • Decide upfront if you can negotiate during a scene, or if acts are only to be negotiated upfront. If something spontaneously occurs to you in the scene (e.g. it would be great to pull this person’s hair), would it be okay to try this and respond to immediate feedback? Or should you save it for next time? Get clarity on this before tying. Unless previously agreed upon, we recommend avoiding re-negotiating in the middle of an activity. When a person is not in a clear state of mind, you may not have full or informed consent even though they agree in the heat of the moment.
  • Discuss what the plan of action will be if any boundaries are crossed by any of you involved in a scene.

We consider consent violation to be:

  • Any deliberate crossing of a physical, emotional or sexual boundary that has been clearly communicated to you.
  • Any refusal to take accountability when made aware of a crossed boundary, deliberate or accidental.

We consider harassment or consent violation to be serious and reportable when:

  • Those who have experienced harassment feel uncomfortable attending events out of fear that the person will be there.
  • Consent was deliberately disregarded (e.g. toe rope was applied despite clear communication beforehand that this was a hard limit, or a bottom attempts to initiate sexual play despite this being a hard limit for the top).
  • The person who crossed the boundary refuses to accept criticism or feedback from the person affected or those advocating for them.
  • The person who crossed the boundary engages in gaslighting or minimising of the affected person’s experience.

Embodiment Rope Space prioritises marginalised people’s safety over privileged people’s comfort. Our team reserves the right not to act on complaints regarding:

  • ‘Reverse’ -isms, including ‘reverse racism,’ ‘reverse sexism,’ and ‘cisphobia’.
  • Reasonable communication of boundaries, such as “leave me alone,” “go away,” or “I’m not discussing this with you.”
  • Communicating in a ‘tone’ you don’t find congenial (i.e. tone policing).
  • Criticising racist, sexist, cissexist, or otherwise oppressive or maginalising behaviour or assumptions.
  • Any member acting in what they believe to be the best interests and for the safety of participants and members of Embodiment, unless such act is an abuse of power or position, or is harmful.

Reporting

If you are being harassed by a member of Embodiment Rope Space, notice that someone else is being harassed, or have any other concerns, please contact our volunteers at embodimentropespace@gmail.com. If the person who is harassing you is on the team, they will recuse themselves from handling your incident. We will respond as promptly as we can.

This code of conduct applies to Embodiment Rope Space spaces, but if you are being harassed by a member of Embodiment Rope Space outside our spaces, we still want to know about it. We will take all good-faith reports of harassment by Embodiment Rope Space members, especially our volunteers and leaders, seriously. This includes harassment outside our spaces and harassment that took place at any point in time. The abuse team reserves the right to exclude people from Embodiment Rope Space based on their past behavior, including behavior outside Embodiment Rope Space spaces and behaviour towards people who are not in Embodiment Rope Space.

In order to protect volunteers from abuse and burnout, we reserve the right to reject any report we believe to have been made in bad faith. Reports intended to silence legitimate criticism may be deleted without response.

We will respect confidentiality requests for the purpose of protecting victims of abuse. At our discretion, we may publicly name a person about whom we’ve received complaints, or privately warn third parties about them, if we believe that doing so will increase the safety of Embodiment Rope Space members or the general public. We will not name victims of harm without their affirmative consent. We do, however, strongly encourage victims of harm to engage in conversation with the person who caused harm before or in addition to informing us. This is only if there is no perceived risk of further harm to the affected party in doing so.

Consequences

Participants asked to stop any harmful behavior are expected to comply immediately.

If a participant engages in harassing behavior, our volunteers may take any action they deem appropriate, up to and including expulsion from all Embodiment Rope Space spaces and identification of the participant as a harasser to other Embodiment Rope Space members or the general public.

To Report an Incident or Request an Advocate:

  • In person: ask a member of the staff to help you find a security volunteer, coordinator, or advocate.
  • Otherwise, please email: embodimentropespace@gmail.com

This policy has been based on the The Pan Eros Foundation and the Consent Academy code of conduct.
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