FAQs
Where Can I buy rope in South Africa?
We highly recommend Sudo Jute – they sell high quality locally produced and imported jute treated specifically for bondage. Use the promo code DESIREL to get a discount at their store.
You can buy some sash cord or hemp rope from local hardware stores or sailing suppliers to start out with, but if you would like to start taking the practice more seriously I recommend investing in rope that is fit for purpose.
How does it feel to be tied?
The sensations of being in bondage vary wildly from person to person (which is part of the beauty of this art form). It depends on how the rope is laid on your body, the intention behind it, what both parties bring to the space physically, mentally and emotionally, your level of sensitivity to discomfort… there are so many factors that feed into your response. Sexual energy, power exchange and pain are optional. The laying of rope has its own sensation depending on the intention of the rigger – it can be soft, tickly, caressing, rough, harsh or even painful. Being in rope, depending on the tie, can range from experiencing a light pressure, to experiencing a fair amount of discomfort, especially if your body is forced into uncomfortable shapes. Being suspended again is an entire universe on its own, depending on how you have been tied. It can range from feeling like you are floating on a cloud to feeling like you to are about to die (fight/flight/freeze response). Emotionally, there is also a wide range of responses – all are valid. Being untied is invariably always a release, but there is room to play with the timing and intention around this release.
Is rope always sexual? Can I do rope if it doesn’t turn me on?
It is important to recognise and appreciate the erotic roots of bondage, and honour and respect that it is an erotic practice. That said, it does have benefits and practitioners outside of the sexual paradigm. For some, it is about pushing their bodies not unlike engaging in strenuous exercise or extreme sports. For some it is a way to reclaim their agency after trauma. For some it is a way to experience connection with others without the scripts and expectations associated with genital contact. As long as what you are doing is consensual and intentional, have fun with it!
I have never been tied before. Am I able to give informed consent to an experience?
When you consent to a rope bondage experience as a newbie or as an experienced bottom, you are consenting to being taken on a journey. Neither you nor the person tying will know how the experience will turn out for you. You are not consenting to a specific list of activities, but rather to a process of discovery. As is the person tying. You are consenting to a process where the risks are (hopefully) outlined for you. It is also important to take ownership of our own bottom education. We host occasional bottoming workshops, and recommend the following additional resources:
More Than a Body – Anatomie Studio Blog
Somatics for Rope Bottoms – Natasha NawaTaNeko
Reducing Risk – Rope Study
Note that managing risk is a shared responsibility between tops and bottoms.
What should I wear to a rope jam or workshop?
Many folks are tied in underwear or form-fitting clothing. Wear whatever you feel comfortable in. If you would like to feel sexy, you are welcome to wear lingerie (so long as crotches are covered). As a general rule, it is preferred that people don’t wear any jewelry, as this can get in the way and/or cause circulation-related discomfort. If you have long hair, consider tying it up lest it become an unintended casualty of the shenanigans.